Theresa May Ruins Our Bank Holiday Zen With This Announcement

Theresa May
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Hands up who’s now feeling a little bit sick this morning? We are!

Theresa May has done little to alleviate that post-Easter “back to work” anxiety by calling a snap General Election on 8 June.

“I have just chaired a meeting of the Cabinet, where we agreed that the Government should call a general election, to be held on June 8,” she said outside Downing Street this morning.

“I want to explain the reasons for that decision, what will happen next and the choice facing the British people when you come to vote in this election.”

We’ll cut this slightly short for you, because as you’ve probably already guessed, it’s because of Brexit.

“We want a deep and special partnership between a strong and successful European Union and a United Kingdom that is free to chart its own way in the world.

“That means we will regain control of our own money, our own laws and our own borders and we will be free to strike trade deals with old friends and new partners all around the world.”

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We already had all of that. Now we just have to painstakingly renegotiate everything. But we’ll let her carry on.

“This is the right approach, and it is in the national interest. But the other political parties oppose it.

“At this moment of enormous national significance there should be unity here in Westminster, but instead there is division.”

She stopped short of naming names, exactly. Then she reached something of a “fuck it” moment and said:

“In recent weeks Labour has threatened to vote against the deal we reach with the European Union.

“The Liberal Democrats have said they want to grind the business of government to a standstill.

“The Scottish National Party say they will vote against the legislation that formally repeals Britain’s membership of the European Union.

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“And unelected members of the House of Lords have vowed to fight us every step of the way.”

So, in other words, she wants to snuff out the competition so the Conservatives can do what the hell they want without anyone saying otherwise.

Here’s what Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn said in response to May’s challenge: “I welcome the Prime Minister’s decision to give the British people the chance to vote for a government that will put the interests of the majority first.

“Labour will be offering the country an effective alternative to a government that has failed to rebuild the economy, delivered falling living standards and damaging cuts to our schools and NHS.

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“In the last couple of weeks, Labour has set out policies that offer a clear and credible choice for the country. We look forward to showing how Labour will stand up for the people of Britain.”

Our advice? Whatever you think of the situation at the moment, do not for a second assume that your vote doesn’t count. It does and it will and this might be one of the most important ways to exercise your right as a British citizen you ever have.

Try and go for the party that isn’t dismantling the NHS, taxing the poor and giving breaks to rich, but you know. It’s up to you.

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