Prince William High Fived Someone Who Is Not His Wife

Prince William
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… And now the tabloid media are splashing on assumptions that the Duke of Cambridge is having some sort of hand-based affair while away on a skiing holiday.

Prince William, who is married to Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton (you’re welcome), was apparently spotted slapping palms with Australian model Sophie Taylor after a day on the slopes at the super posh Swiss resort of Verbier.

Before extensively stalking the 24-year-old woman on Facebook, the Mirror went on to report that she was spotted downing shots with the Prince before – gasp – GIGGLING with him as he finished his lunch at mountainside restaurant La Vache. Allegedly.

And that’s the whole story. Dominating a day of news that sees the future of the United Kingdom hanging in the balance following the triggering of Article 50 and a potential second independence referendum in Scotland. But who cares about life-altering decisions when a royal hand romance could be blossoming in neutral Europe?

What’s even worse is that after suggesting the high five was in any way provocative, they later acknowledge said model is in a committed relationship to a man known as “Aaron”, who was apparently there with Taylor and Wills in the restaurant anyway.

Facebook/Sophie Taylor and “love of her life” boyfriend Aaron

We’re not sure Kate has anything to worry about here. But William, next time you even THINK about touching another woman’s hand, take a good long look at what you stand to lose:

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PS Kate Middleton’s hiring, if you’re interested. Must have scaly fingers.