Remember when Taylor Swift Instagrammed all those holiday snaps showing her and her squad splashing around in the pool in an inflatable swan? Imagine if she’d shared the same envy-inducing photos, only instead of a swan, the girls were floating around merrily on…a giant sanitary towel.
Safe to say, this is not something Tay would have gone for and while we’re all for smashing the menstruation taboo into smithereens, it’s not exactly something we’re rushing out to buy, either.
The funniest part is that this lilo, made by US brand Swimways, isn’t even meant to resemble a period pad, despite it being the same shape, quilted and even rippled with the same blue colour used to denote and sanitise period blood in adverts (groan, just make it red goddamit).
Focus group. This could have been avoided with 1 focus group (of women). pic.twitter.com/C76lv5ji33
— Jillian David (medicine, manuscripts, & mayhem!) (@JillianDavid13) July 3, 2017
Its fancy official name is the Aquaria Pasadena Pool Float, it has a “fun marbleized design” and it is “luxuriously soft and durable”. It comes in a range of colours (white being the most hilarious) and is “extremely comfortable”, apparently (something to bear in mind for your next heavy period ladies).
The float has been available to buy on Amazon for $79.50 (about £60…say what?!) since 2012. Consumers have rushed to leave witty reviews about it, these being some of the highlights:
“I tried it but it sucked all the water out of the pool.”
“The adhesive strip on the back can be used either to keep your pool float secured to your beach chair or to prevent you from falling off the float if you doze off.”
“It gives me the confidence I need to float in the pool.”
“I have always dreamed of floating in a pool on a gigantic maxi pad. Brings a whole near meaning to Aunt Flow. Now it can be Aunt Float.”
“This product is the perfect solution for your monthly pool cleaning needs. It’s extra-absorbent and especially effective at soaking up large containers full of blue liquid.”
“I cut mine into 6,340 individual ‘pool floats’. No more trips to Costco every month.”
One reviewer cut to the heart of the problem, however, which isn’t really funny at all. “Nice to know you don’t have any women on your design team or in your focus groups,” she wrote.
News of this inflatable’s unfortunate existence first came to light when a photo of it hanging up in a shop was posted on Reddit. Shortly afterwards, author Jillian David shared it on Twitter (as above), also pointing out the evident lack of a single woman’s opinion on the design.
It seems that all the social media mockery has got to Swimways bosses, as the pad lilo is no longer available to buy directly from their site. Presumably, the difficulty in tracking one down isn’t going to be a problem.
Might we suggest a flamingo float instead? They are the new swans, after all.