Did you ditch your usual New Year’s resolutions for 2019 and opt for something a bit more fun?
Some of my own friends turned their backs on the traditional ‘lose weight’ type resolutions in favour of well, simply better options. One is choosing to drink more champagne because #yolo and because why the hell not? Another is not aiming to drop pounds but to have a better attitude to self care which may involve eating less pizza in the long run to keep healthy, but she’s still going to eat it when she really wants to and not punish herself for it in the gym the next day. Another has chosen to consciously try and have more sex with her other half. A New Year’s sex resolution, if you will.
These are the types of resolutions I can get on board with. And with no disrespect to sex, the champagne resolution is GENIUS. I might even adopt that one myself.
But let’s be honest, most of us in long-term relationships aren’t at it like rabbits every night. OK yes I know the minority of you are who seem to have insatiable sex drives. But for most of us, it’s a toss up. Should we have sex, or should we watch another episode of Luther? The struggle is real. Or another frequent thought is, we could have sex and I am vaguely in the mood, but wouldn’t an extra half hour of sleep be so perfect for a good day of work tomorrow (and I mean half an hour from build up to clean up not the actual doing it bit you worriers)? Yes it’s sad, but sometimes, sleep is all too enticing. Which is why I like the idea of trying to ramp things back up a notch.
New Year’s sex resolution anyone?
A New Year’s sex resolution for some, might mean getting kinkier in the sack, or simply switching off electronic half an hour earlier. But others sleeping in separate beds might be the way forward. It does sound counter-intuitive, I know.
Research by Mattress Online has found that the best way to achieve a better sex life, may be to spend your nights sleeping apart. And no it’s not because absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s simply all down to sleep.
The research showed that women who have one extra hour’s sleep are 14% more likely to want to have sex with their partner. It also showed a persistent lack of sleep can reduce testosterone levels in men by 10-15%, compared to when they have eight hours sleep.
The problem with disturbed sleep
The survey showed almost a third (27%) of people are disturbed by their partner every night. Which is why sleeping next to them might well be a barrier to improving your sex life in the new year. Disturbed sleep is proven to cause problems such as mood swings, low sex drive and weight gain, all potential issues – the latter potentially knocking our self confidence. It could just be the tossing and turning that causes us unrest (don’t I know it). Snoring is also a huge issue in couples. The study showed that snoring caused more arguments than work-related stress!
What I didn’t know is that sleeping in anything less than a King Size bed together means you have less space per person than if you both had your own single bed. And we all wonder why our partners annoy us during the night.
Hello sleep divorce
Apparently many couples now choose to have a sleep divorce. It sounds old and boring and those that have been together eleven years or more commonly choose this type of ‘divorce’, but perhaps we’d all benefit doing it sooner, it turns out.
Sound a bit dull? Don’t we know it. Maybe you could just have a mini divorce and do it when you have an important meeting the next day or one of you has an irritable cough. Before you know it you’ll have more energy than a Duracell bunny – ready to hop into the sack at any moment.
It’s all a vicious circle too, because while more sleep will likely lead to more sex, more sex can also lead to better sleep. Who knew? Scientifically speaking, sex reduces cortisol (a hormone related to stress), making it much easier to fall asleep. Women’s oestrogen levels increase too, which can enhance REM sleep which is an integral part of sleep as it helps organises brain cells that are vital for learning, problem solving, memory and physical coordination. Whereas lack of this sleep can leave your clumsy and struggling to retain information. Basically more sleep = more sex and being better at life.
So just think about a New Year’s sex resolution and a sleep ‘divorce’, OK?