So a few words of advice: if you find out your boyfriend has actually called up a venue you’re going to with your friends to casually ask the staff there to spy on you and make sure no men arrive at your table, leave him immediately. Not only does this display a worrying lack of trust, but sociopathic behavior akin to emotional abuse. He is stalking you, and you should take it very seriously.
And for any bars who receive requests such as this one, please take note of this response and refuse to tolerate such behaviour. It is all of our responsibilities to keep each other safe on a night out, but you have a special duty of care to your customers, too.
This is the story.
A man in Newcastle overstepped the mark when he decided to call ahead to Filthy’s nightclub where his girlfriend was heading to a hen party.
“Hi, My girlfriend is headed with a hen party to Filthy’s,” he wrote.
“I was wondering if I would be able to pay a staff member to keep an eye on her and make sure there’s no men at their table etc.
“I don’t want the staff member to let the group know that they’re watching, though.”
Giving away in the last sentence that he knows his behaviour is wrong, he doesn’t let a little thing like moral judgement get in the way of being a massive creep.
Instead of responding to his request, Filthy’s (love the name, guys) called him out by posting his message up on Facebook with the following caption:
“For anybody else considering offering us cash to casually stalk their partners… we are a bar, not a private investigators / professional perverts.
“We can however add some finishing touches to the reserved [hen party] area, such as personalised name cards and bubbly on arrival!”
Funny? Yes, but be sure to see the sobering side to this too. If your partner is displaying controlling and coercive behaviour, this should be a red flag. Tell your friends and family immediately.
If you are concerned you’ve become stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, or have found out that your partner has been stalking you and is not sure what to do, contact Women’s Aid on their 24hour helpline on 0808 2000 247 for free and confidential advice.