OPINION: Female Lord Of The Flies Remake Is Spectacularly Missing The Point

Lord of the Flies
Lord of the Flies centres on a group of boys for a reason (IMDB)

In the latest tone-deaf move by out-of-touch Hollywood, Lord of the Flies is getting an all-female remake written and directed by men.

Nobody wants this film, for multiple reasons.

Firstly, William Golding’s classic 1954 novel is one of the most iconic books about maleness and what it means to be a man that has ever been written, as anyone who has read it or studied it at school knows.

It follows a group of young boys stranded on a desert island without their parents as they attempt to implement social order, struggling for power and rapidly resorting to brutality in a satire on government, masculinity and the patriarchy.

Golding spoke before his death about his decision to focus on boys rather than girls, explaining, firstly, that the choice was obvious since he was male himself, and secondly, that although women are “far superior” to men and “always have been”, “a group of little boys are more like scaled down society than a group of little girls will be”.

The plot would not happen as it does were it about a group of women trapped on a desert island, which is presumably why, until now, in this desperate age of “How can I cash in on this cultural favourite?”, nobody has gender-swapped the story.

To make our groans even heavier, instead of tapping into the wealth of female talent bubbling beneath Hollywood’s not-even-subtly sexist surface, Warner Bros bosses have put Scott McGehee and David Siegel in charge. Because men know the female mind much better than women do, don’t worry your pretty little head. Golding might have known that a man writing about girls in this context would lack credibility, but these guys back themselves. Sigh.

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“We want to do a very faithful but contemporised adaptation of the book but our idea was to do it with all girls rather than boys,” Siegal told Deadline, with MeGehee adding that the pair will be making a film that “shifts things in a way that might help people see the story anew”.

It seems like these dudes think they can win round feminists like that – *clicks fingers smugly* – by putting women at the forefront of their movie, not realising that we don’t just automatically support anything heavy on breasts. It does have to make sense, too, and avoid the obvious stereotype of a catfight every five minutes.

Either that, or this is going to be a doomed to fail attempt to show how an all-female Lord of the Flies scenario would be worse than the all-male one that we are essentially living in on a grander scale today.

In any case, if you want to watch a movie like the one this is trying to be: Mean Girls. Nuff said.

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