Katy Perry Publicly Ranks Her Ex-Lovers For Their Performance In Bed
There seems to be a lot going on with Katy Perry right now. From the image overhaul to the newly acquired – and seriously awkward – hip-hop dance moves, things have been changing for the former sugar-loving pop star. Probably (definitely) because she has a new album coming out.
oh no baby. what… is you doing? pic.twitter.com/EIekGHmWi0
— jeff is dad af (@thecultureofme) May 21, 2017
But it appears Perry has misplaced her relationship etiquette book somewhere (don’t pretend you don’t have one), as she’s publically ranked ex-boyfriends Diplo, John Mayer and Orlando Bloom based on their performance in bed. So far, so unimaginably embarrassing, had that been the other way around.
However, could even the most moral of us stick to our high grounds when faced with otherwise being forced to eat a rancid, 1,000-year-old egg? You want to know the answer despite your morals, right? Well OK then…
In order to promote her new album Witness (told you), the singer took part in a ‘Big Brother’-style livestream event with several special guests. In one segment, she played a game of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts with James Corden. The rules were answer truthfully to an embarrassing question, or be forced to eat something really disgusting.
There were plenty of laughs to be had over the size of Orlando bloom’s famous paddleboard shadow, before Cordon asked her: “From best to worst in bed – this is working on the notion that they’re all good – John Mayer, Diplo and Orlando Bloom?”
“No! No! NO! I will not do that! They’re all amazing lovers, and I want to have sex with them all after I get out of this place,” she replied in horror, before adding: “Is Josh Groban in there? Just kidding!”
Corden offered to be the voice of truth on Katy’s behalf, sensing that she probably didn’t want to eat the egg or drop herself massively in it.
“I think Diplo’s third because I think there’s a reason people become DJs,” Corden said.
“So let’s go Diplo, and then Mayer, and then Bloom.”
However, Katy shook her head in disagreement, so Corden corrected: “Bloom, then Mayer. But we’re saying they’re all exceptional.”
Oh, to be a fly on Diplo’s studio wall when he reads this.
In other Katy Perry-related news, we rather more applaud the fact she’s attempted to reach out to long-time social media foe Taylor Swift by confessing her love for her.
Speaking to Arianna Huffington on the Thrive Global podcast, she said:
“I am ready to let it go. I forgive her and I’m sorry for anything I ever did, and I hope the same from her. I think it’s actually like, I think it’s time. There are bigger fish to fry, and there are real problems in the world. You know what I’m saying? And I love her, and I want the best for her. And I think she’s a fantastic songwriter, and I think that, you know, if we, both her and I, can be representatives of strong women that come together despite their differences, I think the whole world is going to go like, ‘Yeah, well we can do this.’ I don’t know. Like maybe I don’t agree with everything she does and she doesn’t agree with everything I do, but I just really truly want to come together in a place of love and forgiveness and understanding and compassion.”
She really does want to shift those unit sales.