Is It A Miracle? New Invention Makes Cheap Wine Taste Excellent

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This is probably the best invention since electricity or the internet. Though potentially not as useful.

The VelvWine Oxygenator is every student and London dweller’s dream. Take a bottle of cheap wine, stick it in, and within minutes it will make it taste better.

‘What kind of sorcery is this?’ we hear you cry. But as ever there is a scientific explanation.

The Oxygenator forces oxygen into the wine, speeding up the natural aeration process, softening its taste and releasing the aromas trapped in the vinegary liquid.

Different amounts of time are recommended for different types of wine. Expect to wait four or five minutes for your cab sav or malbec to taste less sh$t, four to five minutes for tempranillo or merlot and just two or three minutes for a better sauvignon blanc or Riesling.

The other huge benefit of this fabulous thing is the Velv part of it. Velv removes tannins and sulphites from the wine, ie the bits that give you that Death Becomes Her hangover feeling the following day.

There is a negative, however. The Velv Oxygenator is a fairly hefty £240. We’d like to consider it a future investment however, especially if you get through as much wine as we do in a year. Which we always enjoy responsibly and in line with NHS guidelines.

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It also looks a little like some sort of advanced conception technology, but don’t let the idea of fertilisation stop you from reaping the full benefits of your bargain bin vino:


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