We’ve heard of benching, ghosting, zombie-ing and even breadcrumbing… the list goes on. And now there’s a new dating term you’re going to have to learn: marleying.
It’s not enough that dating has been made even more complicated yet easier to do and access since the dawn of social media and dating apps, but now we may as well assign an entire section of the dictionary to dating slang and terminology.
What on earth is this “marleying” about – you might ask. If you’ve ever watched Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, you’ll remember Ebenezer Scrooge’s business partner, Jacob Marley.
So marleying comes from the part of the film where Scrooge’s dead business partner, Marley, comes back as a ghost to tell Scrooge that since he died, his spirit didn’t actually pass onto the “next life”, but hung around as a sort of punishment because he was obsessed with business and completely neglected the people he cared about in his life.
How does that relate to dating? Well, it’s the exact same thing as when an old flame, or ex, no matter how recent, pops up out of nowhere and gets in contact, usually with an opening line something along the lines of “Hey how have you been? We should catch up now we’re back in town” or “Do you fancy meeting up, for old time’s sake?”
In the cold light of day (and soberness), the best response to this would simply be “DELETE” – because y’know, they’re an ex for a reason, and metaphorically speaking, no one needs to reread the same book when they already know the ending.
According to The Debrief, dating site eHarmony surveyed 4,054 adults in the UK and concluded that 1 in 10 singles will be contacted by an ex, looking for a quick and easy hook up over Christmas.
They’ve also suggested that the trend for marleying is far more common over the festive season, usually because everyone heads back to their hometowns for Christmas to visit their parents. Naturally that’s the time old friends get back in touch.
We guess this is quite similar to zombie-ing, and submarining really. An ex who pops up out of the blue, wanting to rekindle your little romantic fling when it suits them… only it’s been given an updated name for the festive season – so don’t be fooled!
And maybe give your phone to your friends for the night to stop you from writing any drunken replies.