What movies actually premiered? What do you mean there were so many incredible female filmmakers this year it gave you real hope for the future of the notoriously misogynistic film industry? They raised HOW MUCH for charity in a grotesquely glitzy Fashion Relief catwalk show?
These are all very good, and very relevant questions, but sadly few were bothered about the great and good of Cannes. Because Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner were there and they wore a lot of sparkly things that were very see-through.
Kendall risked a series of impressive wardrobe malfunctions in a voluminous collection of creations, from this permanent Marilyn moment of a dress by Giambattista Valli Couture, which she paired with pop socks:
To this completely mental structured top and denim hotpants by Alexandre Vauthier:
And let’s not forget her diamante design by Ralph & Russo Spring 2017 Couture collection for the Choppard space-themed party too:
Bella took her Dad as a date to one red carpet event. She chose the parentally inappropriate following for the occasion – and accidentally flashed her pants:
She went all 90s on us in this tie-back handkerchief dress by Roberto Cavalli Couture at Choppard:
She wore a really expensive red Dior quilt we’d like to sleep in permanently, too:
And this totally sheer, strapless number by Roberto Cavalli to the Fashion Relief event:
Oh, and then Rihanna turned up:
Sorry, what happened over the weekend again?