8 Reasons Why Glastonbury Festival can’t be replaced by The Variety Bizarre

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Glastonbury fans far and wide went into momentary panic when founder Michael Eavis unveiled a new kid on the block – The Variety Bizarre.

Michael made the revelation during an interview with radio station Glastonbury FM and, for a scary moment, it was feared the iconic festival was being done away with to make room for its spangly new sister.

Thankfully, Michael has since confirmed that is not the case.

Next year will be Glasto’s fallow year, where the festival ground is given 12 months off to recover, and it is likely the newbie could be held in 2019 at a site far from Worthy Farm.

In 2020, Glastonbury is likely to return with a bang to celebrate its 50th anniversary, with The Variety Bizarre then popping up on its own site every fifth, fallow year.


Michael recently told the Guardian: “Just to be clear, there’s no plan to move Glastonbury festival away from Worthy Farm or to stop doing those here.”

His daughter Emily added: “[The Variety Bizarre] is not going to be exactly the same [as Glastonbury]. It will be unique. With the same team, but crafted into a new event. Like a sister festival. We’re not going to just try to roll out Glastonbury 100 miles away.” PHEW.

Here’s eight more reasons why we think Glastonbury could never be replaced:

1. Glastonbury is iconic. We challenge you to find a single British soul over the age of 15 who hasn’t ever been asked: “You going to Glasto this year?”. Launched in 1970, this festival has some serious roots. Back in the day, tickets cost £1 and you got a free drink of milk thrown in. Bargain!

2. It is the one place in the UK where revellers embrace rain. In fact, it’s almost a rite of Glastonbury passage to say you have survived five days living in a mud bath.

dubassy / Shutterstock, Inc.
dubassy / Shutterstock, Inc.

3. Where else do you get the chance to play ‘find the tent’ in an area BIGGER than Disneyland Paris’ perimeter? Yep, that’s right, the entire Disneyland Paris theme park could fit nicely into Glaso, along with the majority of its hotels. Wow.

4. Anything goes. Literally. You probs wouldn’t take a two-year-old to V Festival, but age is just a number when it comes to Glastonbury. Kids have their own field, complete with softplay and entertainment, while pensioners don’t shy away either from the festival either.

5. Glastonbury has very strong charity links and, in recent years, Michael and Emily have given millions of pounds to charities, beneficiaries and worthy causes. Good work, guys!

6. Holistic therapy, anyone? What other leading festival has an entire area dedicated to exactly this? Need a hangover cure? A cup of chai tea and a yoga class coming right up!

YouTube/ The Rabbit Hole

7. The Rabbit Hole. This tent is located next to The Park Stage and shrouded in intrigue. Get a riddle right, you can then crawl through a secret hole to a mystery room…or so they say. Unique to Glasto and must stay this way.

8. Spread the love, people. Some festivals act as magnets for boozed-up yobs, yet the atmosphere at Glasto is very, very different. Chances are, you won’t be robbed if you fall asleep in the sunshine. Oh no. It’s more likely a worried passer-by will give you a nudge and lend you their suncream.

So basically, Glastonbury Festival can never be replaced. Ok?